Crossdressers as Irish Family Entertainment?

You are in a theater filled with an ecstatic, hysterically screaming crowd. There is a guy on stage wearing a woman's dress, a wig and a five-o'clock-shadow. Next to him is a well-proportioned young girl pretending to be a dashing male hero. Together they sing a saccharine-sweet adaptation of a Garth Brooks number.

No, this is not the annual convention of transexual Transylvanians, this is panto. A time-honored tradition at Christmas time, where crossdressers entertain kids and fairy tales come alive ... though not necessarily in the way you remember them.

Panto has to be experienced to be understood. Though in all honesty there is not much to understand with storylines such as "boy whacks wicked wolf, kills wicked witch and then gets wickedly good-looking girl". You might be more confused by the gender-swapping that is never explained (and taken for granted by everyone except you), the sudden bursts into song and dance that make Bollywood a distant cousin and the impossibility of any on-stage discussion to not include "Oh, no I don’t!", "Oh, yes you do!"

If you thought "Shrek" was strange, check out these shows:

• Armagh
  "Sleeping Beauty" at Market Place Theatre, December 1st to 23rd
• Belfast
  "Cinderella", Grand Opera House, December 1st to January 19th
  "Sleeping Beauty", Waterfront Hall, December 1st to January 12th
• Cork
  "Cinderella", Cork Opera House, from December 15th
  "Jack and the Beanstalk", Everyman Palace, December 7th to January 13th
• Dublin
  "Aladdin", Lampert Puppet Theatre, December 1st to January 27th (performed by puppets, as you might have guessed)
  "Beauty and the Beast", Gaiety Theatre, December 2nd to February 3rd
  "Jack and the Beanstalk", Olympia Theatre, December 22nd to January 6th
  "Sleeping Beauty", Draíocht Blanchardstown, January 5th to 12th
  "Snow White", Liberty Hall Theatre, December 14th to January 20th (this features former Eurovision winner Linda Martin as the Evil Queen)
• Galway
  "Cinderella", Town Hall Theatre, December 30th to January 13th
  "Sleeping Beauty", Town Hall Theatre, January 1st to 6th
• Killarney
  "Never Never Land", INEC, December 7th to 14th
• Limerick
  "Goldilocks", University Concert Hall, December 28th to January 6th (a "circus panto" with daring performances)
  "Nevereverland", Millennium Theatre, December 26th to January 6th

For more festive ideas, see my listing of recommended Christmas events in Ireland.