When the guards are after a shinner for a brown envelope you might think you just dropped into a surreal parallel world. Actually you are in Ireland, where everybody understands the first part of the first sentence. Then again many see Ireland as being somehow in a surreal parallel world.
Bertie - former Taoiseach Bartholomew Ahern.
Biffo - An Taoiseach Brian Cowen (an acronym for "big ignorant fellow from Offaly").
Blow-in - immigrant or non-local.
Blueshirt - derogatory term for a member of Fine Gael, reminding him of his party's flirt with fascism.
Boyracer - young motorist given to fast and reckless driving.
Boys - often a codeword for paramilitaries as in "The boys will take care of you, unless ...".
Boys in Blue - An Garda Siochana, the Irish police (the uniform color actually is dark blue, not black).
Boys in Green - any national team playing for Ireland.
Boyzone - the original (and recently re-formed) Irish boy-band, featuring Ronan Keating.
Brits - derogatory term for the British.
Brown Envelope - originally a utlitarian and cheap envelope, today a synonym for the bribe contained therein.
Chancer - somebody who likes to take a chance, preferring this to an honest days' work.
Crown Forces - anybody serving the government of the UK in a military or security capacity.
Culchie - person from a rural (or non-Dublin in general) area, equivalent of "hillybilly".
Cute Hoor - literally a well turned-out prostitute, a term of admiration for a crafty, cunning person.
D4 - South Dublin area of large houses and moneyed inhabitants.
FAS -labor exchange or job center in the Republic.
Gaffer - the boss (from "governor", "guv'nor").
Guards - An Garda Siochana, the Irish police.
GUBU - acronym for "grotesque, unbelievable, bizarre and unprecedented"; a common description of political affairs in Ireland.
Jackeen - Dublin West Brit, prone to wave the Union Jack at the slightest provocation.
Knacker - derogatory term for a pavee ("member of the travelling community").
Kneecapping - punishment shooting by paramilitaries, effectively blasting the victim's kneecaps to oblivion.
Mick - derogatory term for a Catholic Irishman.
Mollycoddle, to - a verb that denotes overly maternal care and an easy life.
New Irish - politically correct term for immigrants.
Non-national - common term for foreigners, slowly superceded by the even more politically correct "non-Irish-national".
P45 - the form an employer has to fill in if he lets an employee go.
P60 - annual income tax assessment form.
Paramilitaries - armed gangs pursuing there own agenda within a political framework.
Peacelines - euphemism for high steel or concrete walls between Protestant and Catholic communities in Northern Ireland.
Prod - derogatory term for a Protestant.
Punishment Beating or Shooting - "justice" as dealt out by paramilitary gangs, a very hands-on and often lethal approach to community "policing".
Shinner - a follower of Sinn Fein.
Slapper - woman of loose morals.
Skanger - low-class person prone to petty criminal acts and the wearing of tracksuits.
Taig - derogatory term for a Catholic Irishman.
Tribunal - a judicial inquiry; also a by-word for great entertainment at the expense of "pillars of society" and politicians dragged out of hiding for these hearings.
West Brit - derogatory term for an Irishman perceived to be siding with the British.
Westlife - Irish boy-band renowned for saccharine-sweet cover versions.
